Texas Hillbillies

Thanks to former student Hannah who sent this along…

(Sung to the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies” Theme Song)

Come & listen to my story ’bout a boy name Bush.
His lQ was zero & his head was up his tush.
He drank like a fish while he drove all about.
But that didn’t matter ‘cuz his daddy bailed him out.
DUI, that is. Criminal record. Cover-up.

Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale.
He can’t spell his name but they never let him fail.
He spends all his time hangin’ out w/ student folk.
And that’s when he learns how to snort a line of coke.
Blow, that is. White gold. Nose candy.

The next thing you know there’s a war in Vietnam.
Kin folks say, “George, stay @ home w/ Mom.”
Let the common people get maimed & scarred.
We’ll buy you a spot in the Texas Air Guard.
Cushy, that is. Country clubs. Nose candy.

Twenty years later Georgie gets a little bored.
He trades in the booze, says that Jesus is his Lord.
He said, “Now the White House is the place I wanna be.”
So he called his daddy’s friends & they called the GOP.
Republicans, that is. Falwell. Jesse Helms.

Come November 7, the election ran late.
Kin folks said “Jeb, give the boy your state!”
“Don’t let those colored folks get into the polls.”
So they put up barricades so they couldn’t punch their holes.
Chads, that is. Duval County. Miami-Dade.

Before the votes were counted, five Supremes stepped in.
Told all the voters “Hey, we want George to win.”
“Stop counting votes!” was their solemn invocation.
And that’s how George finally got his coronation.
Rigged, that is. Illegitimate. No moral authority.

Y’all come VOTE now!!!! Ya hear?

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